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“Stepping Out…”

This week I’m stepping out through one door into another.

After 16 years and 4 months I’m leaving my job to go and do something different.

Most of you won’t be aware that this was in the pipeline as I’ve not talked about it much.

So it’s odd sitting here now knowing that this is my last week in the job that I’ve invested so much time, energy and passion into.

I shall miss aspects of my job but there are also other parts that I won’t.

I am looking forward to fresh challenges and experiences that my new job will bring,

But at the same time it’s a little daunting to be starting over again as the newcomer.

So think of me this week as I step through the doors for the last time in my current job and out into my next job.

“Flumps’ Tree”

Some years ago we experienced the loss of our much wanted baby whilst I was pregnant.

It was a difficult and painful time in our lives, dealing not only with our loss but that of our eldest child who had been giddy with excitement that they were to become a big sibling.

In our grief we planted a fruit tree in our garden to remember “Flumps” by. It was tiny when we first got it and for a few years it only produced a tiny amount of fruit and these could be eaten whole in a couple of mouthfuls.

Sometimes you’ll see one of us at the bottom of the garden having a quiet moment to reflect stood or sat by “Flumps’ Tree”.

Occasionally you’ll find the odd handmade craft or picture made by one of our children dangling from the branches. These always make me smile.

Today as I went out to collect the fallen fruit on this stormy gusty day I stopped and looked at “Flumps’ Tree” standing strong in the storm bearing plenty of fruit of various sizes. It made me think of how far we have come as a family through the storms to enjoy the fruit of life.

Life isn’t easy and there are many twists and turns, but as long as we stand firm holding on through the storms of life, we’ll make it out through to the other side and have moments where we can enjoy the sweetness and joy of life too.

“The Next Step…”

Early in the morning I awoke,

And snuck into the bedroom to watch him sleep.

He stirred in his sleep,

Opening his eyes,

And smiled sleepily whilst beckoning me over for a cuddle.

I snuggled up close,

As he wrapped his little arms around me,

And rested his head in the nook of my neck.

We laid there breathing in unity together,

As I stroked his head gently.

In what seemed like no time at all,

The day arrived,

And he skipped merrily on ahead,

To the next stage of his life.

The one where I would no longer be the centre of his universe.

The one where his ears and eyes would be opened wider by the world around him.

The one where I cannot protect him in an instant as I am not by his side.

This is the world where he has to stand on his own two feet.

This is the world where he grows in knowledge.

This is the world that I have been slowly preparing him for over the last few years,

And now it is time to let him take that next step in his life,

For this is what parenting is about,

Giving our children wings to fly.

“Dodger the cat”

Just over a week ago we received an email asking if we would be willing to adopt a tabby Devon Rex cat in need of a new home.

So my oldest child and I set off on a long journey across the country leaving the rest of our family to indulge themselves playing games, watching Star Wars films and having a sneaky MacDonalds.

We stayed overnight with my gorgeous Nanny who insisted on feeding us until we could eat no more, and even then she wasn’t convinced we were full!

A few miles away the following day we went to pick up Dodger the cat. He was friendly but wary at the same time.

The rescue lady gave us a brief history of his background and then after signing some paperwork he became ours.

We made the return journey home with Dodger voicing his disapproval of being contained in the cat carrier every now and again, but relaxed and went to sleep when we played classical music to him.

He purred with delight during our stops when he was allowed out of the carrier to wander around the car.

On arrival home Dodger was happy to explore downstairs but appeared a little jumpy if unsure of noises.

A week on and we’re still getting to know him. He has met Molly and is desperate to be her friend so he can snuggle up to her. So far Molly is not having any of it. He is allowed to eat and sit near her but too close she gives him a warning hiss. Possibly in time he will convince her to let him snuggle close but we’ll see.

We’ve been trying to figure out what Dodger likes to do and discovered accidentally that he enjoys playing Fetch. So the children have enjoyed throwing paper and toy crinkly mice for Dodger to chase and retrieve. Who needs a dog when you have a cat that plays Fetch?!

He is still very wary of loud noises and if there are too many people in the room but is slowly adapting. He loves to purr and weave in and out around our legs. He particularly enjoys it once the children are in bed and he can sit on us to doze in peace.

He is very interested in going out to explore and meows crossly if spots us out in the garden. It will be a wee while before he will be ready to go out as want him to feel more settled in our house and also so his microchip is updated to our address in case he does get lost.

It’s weird having another cat in the house again, especially as we’re still adjusting to life without Harry cat. However I’m sure that Harry cat would have approved of us adopting Dodger to give another cat a chance of happiness with our family.

I’m sure in time Dodger will settle in and it will seem like he’s always been here.

“Friday Group”

For a number of years I have been involved in a group that meet regularly on a Friday morning.

The group was set up by a friend who felt prompted by God to set up a little group to meet at her house on a regular basis to enable support and to develop friendship between those with young babies in our church.

The original group consisted of six mums and their babies. Over the years the group has grown, members have moved on and new ones joined. We’ve watched bumps grow into babies turn into toddlers and observe them develop as children. The group opened up beyond Mums to include Dads and Grandparents.

Various people have taken on the role of opening up their homes and hosting over the years to enable our group to maintain that homely feel.

When I was invited to join the original group, none of us had any idea that it would flourish all these years or the impact it would have on us individually. For me personally the group enabled me to have social interaction at a time when I struggled to be in bigger and noisier environments due to my rapidly declining hearing. For a another friend it enabled her to just come and be a Mum and not as an organiser running the group.

Within the group there is no pressure to attend regularly, and all are supportive of one another that extends outside of the times that we meet.

It is a group where we can come, just sit and have a brew with a slice of cake with no expectations upon us to talk if we just want to sit. Equally there is no judgement if we need to offload or seek advice. There is recognition that caring for a baby or child can be exhausting and challenging especially when surviving on little sleep. Quite often you will find a small baby being passed around being given attention by others to enable an exhausted mother to have a hot drink and the chance to relax.

I recall on one occasion when an exhausted mother came with her newborn whereby the baby had a major poop explosion. The group sprung into action to help the mother clean herself and her baby up, providing wipes, nappy and change of clothing as the mother in her exhausted state had forgotten to bring a bag with all the essentials. No judgement was made, as we’ve all been there at some point.

It’s not just the adults that have benefited from this group. Our children have too. It has enabled them to develop their social skills and build up relationships with others outside of their immediate family.

In today’s society it is easy to feel isolated as a parent particularly as very few have a network of family close by to offer advice and support. This group has enabled so many to find a support network and to build long lasting friendships. We definitely need more “Friday Groups” in today’s society as it would make such a difference to many people.

My time at the group is coming to an end as my youngest prepares to start school. It will seem strange not to attend the group anymore although I suspect I may not be able to resist sneaking in for the odd slice of cake and baby cuddles!

I am so thankful for my friend plucking up the courage to invite five other strangers and their babies into her home, and so proud of how that vision has developed over the years.

I can honestly say that it has been a real privilege to be part of “Friday Group” for so long and to share in the lives of so many lovely people and their families.

“Rise Up”

I have a dear friend who sadly was subjected to a number of years abuse by a man. She was not the first either.

This was a man that she once loved. A man who should have loved, cherish, respected and protected her. He did none of those things. Instead he abused her both emotionally and physically. He took away her self esteem and made her think it was all her fault.

Over time she was supported by a feisty bunch of women to find the courage to leave him to start a new life.

It was not easy for her to escape or to go where he could not find her and their children because he was so determined not to let her go to the extent he stalked her and made threats.

She took the brave step of informing the police and seeking support from local services. The police found other women who he has abused previously and built a case against him.

At times she was in despair that she would ever break free from him or her past. She doubted herself so many times as to whether she had made the right decision for her little family as life wasn’t easy moving from shelter to shelter.

He tried to intimidate her into withdrawing her statement but she stayed strong. The case went to court.

My friend has faced abuse from others during this time who attempted to play down what he has done or blamed her.

Her feisty group of women never lost faith and encouraged her to keep going, even when all seemed lost.

Today that man has been sentenced for what he did to my friend and all those other women. Justice was served today as he has been sent to prison for a very long time. Today marks a new chapter in my friend’s life, one where she can live her life in freedom, not having to look over her shoulder in fear or worry that he will hunt her down to abuse her once again. She will be able to bring her children up safe from harm.

My friend I am so incredibly proud of you for finding that courage to rise up and seek a better life for your children and yourself away from him. It’s not been easy and there are bound to be days ahead where you still struggle, but know this you are a warrior and you will rise every time.

“Breathe…”

We’ve just returned from a very special place where we go as a family to unwind and breathe.

We leave behind the stress and drudgery of life and swap it for carefree moments where we can relax totally as a family together.

Our special place is in a beautiful location where you can see mountains and the stars shine bright at nights. You hear the calls of nature around you and feel so alive. It is here that we breathe in time with nature.

It is here that we meet with old friends and forge new friendships in the middle of a field. We play, eat and drink together laughing until our sides ache late into the night.

Every time we come to our special place we explore and go on adventures always discovering some place new on our travels.

We particularly love going to a gorgeous sandy beach where you drive through a forest to reach it. As we pass through the forest we always hope that we may be fortunate enough to catch a sighting of red squirrels which reside here.

Our special place is like a treasure trove in time as there is a wonderful museum on site of classic cars and military vehicles on display.

For each one of us this place holds so many memories and we always return home feeling relaxed having had the space to breathe and enjoy life without any of life pressures.

http://angleseytransportmuseum.co.uk/

https://m.facebook.com/Anglesey-AWOL-glamping-holidays-372684753196141/?locale2=en_GB

“Adjusting to life without Harry Cat”

It’s been a week and two days since we lost our gorgeous grumpy Harry cat.

Slowly we are all adjusting to the Harry shape hole in our lives but every now and again his loss hits us hard like a kick in the stomach.

It’s funny really you don’t expect a pet to have that much impact on your lives but it isn’t until they have gone that you realise how much they make up a part of your family.

I miss him stalking me around the house wanting to be involved in whatever I was doing, even if at times he was a pest trying to break into the bathroom whilst I was using the facilities or attempting to trip me up in the kitchen whilst making meals.

I miss him shouting at the kids to go to bed, waiting outside their bedrooms whilst we finished reading stories and then running down the stairs chirping happily knowing he would get a cuddle from me once I sat down on the sofa.

I miss him shouting at me for food and then gobbling it down fast as though he has never eaten before.

I miss watching him wandering around the garden sniffing at the plants and finding a nice sunny spot to have a snooze. I miss laughing at him running like a loon with a “what the heck?!” expression on his face back into the house if there was so much as a gust of a wind or a noise he was unsure of.

I miss him playing “Top Cat” with Molly cat where they attempted to outdo each other in getting the best position to sit on me. He would usually win by jamming himself high up on my chest not caring that I couldn’t see past him. He wasn’t adverse to sitting on top of Molly cat or biting her bottom to make her move either!

I miss his grumpy face when not amused by the antics of our family or friends as he had a cracking grumpy face.

I miss his playful and inquisitive nature never being able to resist playing with toys that moved or taking great pleasure in pushing things off the side just because he could.

I miss him demanding to be cuddled even when it was not convenient, such as when busy trying to do work on the laptop. He would scramble up onto the table and purposeful sit on my notes or blocking my view of the laptop before purring with pleasure when I removed him and placed on my lap.

I miss seeing him stretch out on the radiator happily embracing the heat. I miss seeing him snuggled up with Molly cat or asleep side by side in the Ikea storage unit we have that they claimed as their sleeping quarters at night.

I miss seeing his big ears throwing a shadow against the curtains when the car lights caught him in the window. All of us giggling and saying in unison “Bat cat waiting for us!” and then watching him dash from the window round to the door to greet us.

I’m not the only one missing him. The children go and place flowers and gifts on his grave looking deep in thought before making statements such as “Harry’s dead. We don’t have a boy cat anymore that makes me sad.” or “Harry an angel cat now. He’s probably being grumpy and hissing at the angels.” My eldest is finding it hard not having him snuggle up to her whilst she reads in bed or watches teen drivel on her I-pad.

It’s not just us humans that are missing Harry cat. Molly cat is too. She’s been quieter and wanting more reassurance strokes and cuddles. She’s not eaten as much and has thrown up through anxiety a number of times.

Harry cat may have been small but he had such a big personality and presence in our lives that it is going to take some time for us to adjust for he left pretty big paw prints over all our hearts.

“Harry Cat”

The first time I met Harry he was a tiny little kitten with massive ears. I instantly fell in love with him.

He snuggled inside my top and went to sleep as we made the journey home from Manchester train station. From that moment I became “his human” the one whom he attached himself the most to and the one who he would seek to do his biding.

He has beautiful curly fur that felt like suede when you touch it. Many an hour was spent just stroking him and he loved it.

Molly Cat was not very keen on him initially but he soon won her over and would insist on snuggling up to her whether she wanted to or not! Many a time we would find them curled up together and yet at other times he would clearly annoy her to the extent that she would box his ears to make him behave.

He was a very inquisitive cat and loved to be where the action was, even if it meant he had to be in the same place as those pesky kids!

He adored me and would follow me around wherever I went. As he got older he would demand to be cuddled and would complain loudly until I gave in.

He would give affection on his terms. Woe betide if anyone outside of the immediate family attempted to pick him up as he would hiss and growl angrily. Yet at other times he was happy to plonk himself on a guest’s lap and let them pay him attention. In particular he loved sitting on any lady wearing a skirt or dress as it was like a ready made hammock for him!

He has a strong dislike of the vets and would voice this fiercely growling and hissing to the extent that one Vet proclaimed that he sounded like an old steam engine!

Over the years he mellowed in allowing the kids to give him attention and sought them out for cuddles or tickles under his chin and behind his ears. Although he still managed to do a cracking grumpy face and huff loudly whenever they did something that did not amuse him like putting silly hats on him!

He adored sour cream and onion Pringles and would attempt to snatch them off you if you had any. He turned his nose up at imitation brands.

He loved to sit in the window of our lounge sunbathing and would chirp excitedly when he spotted us returning home or if he saw a bird outside.

He was such a character and will leave a massive Harry shape hole in our lives.

“Great Aunty Jean”

Everyone has that relative. The one that spoils you rotten, has a great sense of humour and you were always guarantee to have fun in their company.

Mine was my Great Aunty Jean. She was a breath of fresh air with a twinkle in her eyes and an infective laugh.

She would take us out and spoil us rotten with mountains of sweet treats, McDonalds and trips out.

She would laugh at our antics and roll her eyes at my siblings and I if we started bickering.

If we ever complained we were bored she would say, “Bored? Only boring people are bored! I’m never bored. Go and have fun!”

She told fabulous stories and as a child it was hard to tell if she was telling the truth or pulling our legs.

She has false teeth and would with some egging on by us children slide them in and out of her mouth. We found it hilarious whilst our grown up relatives would roll their eyes at us all cackling away with mirth.

Despite her age she always seemed much younger than she was. She always took pleasure in folk mistaking her for our mother and not our Great Aunt even if we would look confused at how someone could possibly make that mistake.

She could be nosy at times and I recall one time one of my relatives had put a note inside a small cupboard in their new house knowing that my Aunty Jean wouldn’t be able to resist peeking in. The note said “Nosy Parker!” She thought it was hilarious when she found it.

She was a big animal lover especially of cats and this rubbed off on me. Her cat was her pride and joy.

She always had time for us and cared deeply for us.

As we got older, move away from home, started our own families we saw less of her over the years but whenever we did meet up that love she has for us all was still as strong as the twinkle in her eye.

And now she has gone. My lovely Great Aunty Jean has gone leaving behind a hole in our hearts but so many wonderful memories. She was a Great Aunty indeed.